Friday, February 27, 2009

Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

Disclaimer: Forgive me in advance for offending someone. That is definately not my intention. I’m only posting this because of the humor involved. I, in no way, wish to offend any of our women motorcyclists or women in general. I have just barrowed bits of this from various other sites and edited it to fit motorcycling. I am sure one of our female riding bloggers will come up with a list of their own of why motorcycles are better then men.

Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

A motorcycle does not care if you are politically correct or not.
A motorcycle doesn’t complain about being tied up.
A motorcycle doesn't care when you come.
A motorcycle doesn't get jealous when you ride another motorcycle.
A motorcycle doesn't mind being parked in the ""wet spot"" that it left.
A motorcycle goes good with leather.
A motorcycle is always ready to leave on time.
A motorcycle is never late.
A motorcycle never fishes for compliments.
A motorcycle will let you have your way with it.
A motorcycle won't complain about leaving the toilet seat up.
A motorcycle won't get upset if you come home with alcohol on your breath.
A motorcycle won't make you eat some experimental meal.
A motorcycle won't make you go to church.
A motorcycle won't make you sleep on the couch.
After you have ridden a motorcycle, you're committed to nothing.
If a motorcycle leaks all over the garage, it smells kind of good.
If you change Motorcycles, you don't have to pay alimony.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don’t have to apologize before you can ride it again.
If you twist your throttle hard enough, you will always get ahead.
If your Motorcycle doesn’t look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don’t have to discuss politics to correct it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
It’s always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
Motorcycle labels come off without a fight.
Motorcycle labels don't go out of style every year.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles always look the same in the morning.
Motorcycles always sound pleasant.
Motorcycles are always easy to pick up.
Motorcycles are easy to dress up.
Motorcycles are easy to get on.
Motorcycles are fun to ride in a group.
Motorcycles are never overweight.
Motorcycles can’t change its mind.
Motorcycles don’t care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
Motorcycles don’t care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don’t care if you are late.
Motorcycles don’t demand equality.
Motorcycles don’t get cold hands/feet.
Motorcycles don’t get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
Motorcycles don’t get pregnant.
Motorcycles don’t have parents.
Motorcycles don’t insult you if you are a bad rider.
Motorcycles don’t mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
Motorcycles don’t remember.
Motorcycles don’t snore.
Motorcycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
Motorcycles won't blow you off.
Motorcycles don't care if you have no culture or manners.
Motorcycles don't complain about insensitivity.
Motorcycles don't complain about the way you drive.
Motorcycles don't demand legality.
Motorcycles don't get bad breath.
Motorcycles don't get cramps.
Motorcycles don't go crazy once a month.
Motorcycles don't have a lawyer.
Motorcycles don't have a mother.
Motorcycles don't have morals.
Motorcycles don't live with its mother.
Motorcycles don't look you up in a month.
Motorcycles don't make you go shopping.
Motorcycles don't mind football season.
Motorcycles don't mind getting dirty.
Motorcycles don't mind if you fart or belch.
Motorcycles don't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
Motorcycles don't need much closet space.
Motorcycles don't need to go to the 'powder room'.
Motorcycles don't pout or play games.
Motorcycles don't tease you or play hard to get.
Motorcycles don't tell you to mow the grass.
Motorcycles don't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
Motorcycles don't use up your toilet paper.
Motorcycles don't wear a bra.
Motorcycles don't worry about someone walking in.
Motorcycles don't worry about waking the kids.
Motorcycles go down the road easy.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles never argue with you.
Motorcycles never ask for the remote.
Motorcycles never ask if an accessory makes it look fat.
Motorcycles never change the station.
Motorcycles never complain when you don’t stop and ask for directions.
Motorcycles never complain when you take it somewhere.
Motorcycles never have a headache.
Motorcycles never say no.
Motorcycles never talk back.
Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Motorcycles won't run off with your credit cards.
Motorcycles’ curves never sag.
No matter how many times you ride it, the motorcycle is still worth something.
Oil stains wash out.
One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the motorcycle in the basement.
Road rash heals.
When motorcycles get old you trade it out.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
When you go shopping, you know you can always pick up a motorcycle.
When your motorcycle is gone, you just get another.
With the odometer on zero, you always know that you are the first one to ride a motorcycle.
You can always talk to your motorcycle.
You can choke your motorcycle.
You can dress warmly and still ride a frigid motorcycle.
You can enjoy a motorcycle all month.
You can have more than one motorcycle.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can legally rent a motorcycle.
You can ride a motorcycle all night.
You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
You can ride a motorcycle in public.
You can ride more than one motorcycle a night and not feel guilty.
You can share a motorcycle with your friends.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
You can upgrade your motorcycle at any time.
You can't catch anything but “euphoria” from a motorcycle.
You don’t have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
You don’t have to convince your Motorcycle that you’re a motorcyclist and that you think that all Motorcycles are equals.
You don’t have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
You don’t have to pay child support to an ex-motorcycle.
You don’t have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
You don’t have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
You don't have to wash a motorcycle before it looks good.
You don't have to wine and dine a motorcycle.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is worn.
You rarely (if ever) find motorcycle labels on the shower curtain rod.
Your Motorcycle doesn’t care what you’re wearing when you take it out.
Your motorcycle doesn’t get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Your motorcycle will always wait patiently for you in the garage.
Your motorcycle won’t leave you for another rider.
Your motorcycle won’t wake you up at 2:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
Your parents don’t remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.

Ride on,
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